When the first Borderlands came out, I didn’t call dibs on anybody because I didn’t play the game. When Borderlands 2 released, I didn’t call dibs on anybody because I also didn’t play that game. When Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel hit store shelves, I still didn’t call dibs because I had no intention of playing that game. Nothing about the Borderlands franchise interested me and even if it did, I owned neither a PS3, Xbox 360, nor a decent gaming PC.
Eventually, however, after finding it on sale for less than $10, I broke down and bought the GOTY edition of Borderlands 2. A coworker goaded me into installing in my Mac and the two of us teamed up on weekends to take down Handsome Jack. I picked Gaige the Mechromancer and absolutely fell in love with the game. Holy shit was I an idiot not to play this series sooner. I still haven’t played the Pre-Sequel (and I probably never will) but I’m stoked about Borderlands 3 and ready to call dibs on the best Vault Hunter.
FL4K? Pfft, that’s not even a real name. Amara? Sorry, but unlike Darren, my dick doesn’t get hard at the idea of being broken in half by a female MMA fighter. Moze? Why on earth would I pick a character whose name is even remotely close to Moyse? No, clearly the best Vault Hunter in Borderlands 3 is going to be Zane.